Why do I care? Online Dating & Anxiety

Recently someone I liked, thought that I jumped into bed with someone else as soon as he had ended something  well in reality it was nothing to end.  This hurt but I don’t know why? Why do I care what he or anyone else thinks. I know that I didn’t sleep with someone else that quickly, I know that I am not like that. He doesn’t need to know, so why did I apologise for him thinking that.  Why did it hurt that he thought that of me? Even if I did jump into bed with someone else, he had ended it, he had ignored me for almost two weeks before drunk snapchatting me at 3am, it shouldn’t have made any difference to him.

This guys barely knew me, knew nothing of my past and I hadn’t opened up about past relationships, but he still felt the need to judge me.  I don’t know why I let myself get into these situations. I cried over this judgement for a week, I ended up going to bed early every day and just cried my eyes out.  I even explained that he had hurt me but this didn’t make any difference as he didn’t even apologise for what he had said. I think even drunk at 3am, I wouldn’t want to hurt someone who I had been getting close to.

I wish, during the short time that we spent together, I had opened up more. I wish I had told him more about the anxiety, depression and how dark life can be sometimes. Maybe then he would have been able to understand the way I acted when he ended it.  Again, there was nothing really to end. Nothing had begun. It may have changed the way he judged me, even a throw away comment is something which I will spend hours over thinking and worrying about.

Sometimes, I wish I could be that girl who can just get over someone so quickly and even sleep with someone just to make the pain so away. I can’t. I am not like that and however, hard I try or wish I will not be that girl. In the long run, I will be happier that I am not like that and I think when I eventually find someone who is worth spending the rest of my life with, they will appreciate the fact that I am not like that.

For now, I will stop explaining myself and will start concentrating on me and my needs! I will not let myself get worked up with the fact that someone thinks I am not good enough for them or that they think I may be too loyal or too needy. I can only be myself and one day I hope that someone will appreciate it.

Love, Minnie x



Turning 27 and Online Dating….

Hello again,

So, I have been off this blog for a while. I had that relationship breakdown with my ex-boyfriend and I really wasn’t in a great place. I am much better now and have so much to say.  I am not going to pretend that the last few months have been easy because they haven’t. Work, life, relationships have been tough.

I have however, been dating. It has taught me a lot about myself and things which maybe I need to work on after having been in a long-term relationship but it has also shown me how awful people can be. I downloaded Tinder quickly after becoming single and have various conversations on there. I have however, met three guys in person and this is what happened.

  1. Met for a drink in London, he made it clear that he was going away that week for 2 months but if we got on we could keep in touch. The date was super quick but we did get on and we did keep in touch…. for a while. I guess him being away was hard when you don’t actually know someone.  He is however, back in London now and a second date is on the cards.  I am not sure whether this will go anywhere but he seems like a nice guy.
  2. I was seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, I stayed over his a few times but it was clear that he wasn’t over his ex or had some other issues.  He lost his job and said that he wasn’t in a good place so we stopped talking.  A month later he did actually text me and see if I fancied a catch up over a coffee but I think the spark has really gone now.  I think he used me a bit and I don’t think even a coffee would make me see otherwise, not yet anyway.  He also had some kind of issue with exercise and eating which isn’t great for my personality.
  3. The third guy I was seeing for a month-ish and I think when he called it off it hurt the most. We did get on really well and I felt that he was keen for something more although I wasn’t really going to push for the same, happy to take things slow.  We went on a few dates and he was staying over almost every other night.  I then ended up being rushed into hospital and staying four nights. He still text me every day and on Saturday, we made plans for Sunday, relaxed Christmas shopping etc.  He then snapped what he was looking at for my birthday [as it is actually today] he went to a gig that night, text me a bit and even said ‘goodnight beautiful’. Sunday morning I was getting ready and received a text out of the blue cancelling our plans and saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship.  I was completely shocked as it was him making all the plans etc.  It hurt. It hurt a lot and therefore, the no contact rule kind of didn’t work and I did send a couple of texts which he isn’t going to ever reply too.  Monday night he sent me a snapchat asking if I was okay and saying sorry again. He didn’t reply after that and has now deleted me off snapchat.  I have no idea what could have changed overnight nor how I could have believed everything he said.  I think that is what I am struggling with the most – the lack of closure.  I have decided to delete his number so I can no longer see when he is online and of course, I know I am better than that and deserve so much more. He hasn’t even text me today to wish me a happy birthday.  I just can’t help but think that this may be a repetative thing with online dating but at 27 it is not easy to meet people.

Have you had any luck with online dating?

Love, Minnie x

So… I got my first tattoo [Monday Motivation]

Eleanor Roosevelt said that you should do one thing every day that scares you and I have been trying to do this since becoming single…

This weekend was no exception and I decided that I would get my first tattoo.  It is tiny and it is on my ribs next to my boob so will only really be seen on holidays but why did I do it?

I have always thought of getting a tattoo but I knew my parents didn’t like them.  My ex boyfriend had so many tattoos and although I loved them, I didn’t want people to think that I was only getting one because he had them or that he pushed me into it.  As you will know we have been apart now a whole month and because I have been going through such a hard time I decided that I would just do it.

I managed to persuade my Mum to come with me, which I was grateful for and she actually almost physically pushed me through the door when I nearly backed out.  The tattoo place was pretty busy but one of the guys managed to fit me in before his first appointment.  He explained what he was going to do and checked that I was happy with the design and the placing and then he just did it.  He also explained how long it would take and that he did the outline thicker than the design as it can be caught on bras etc. He told me to take my bra off which was a little bit strange as I then the whole day out without a bra, but it was liberating.

I was so worried that it would hurt… that has been my biggest fear of them for so long.  I also heard that the ribs would be painful and my ribs do stick out a lot. However, I didn’t really feel a thing. This may have been because it was so small and quick but I was surprised at how little it did hurt.

I feel sorry for my friends that have received photos of my boobs over the weekend but I think that it is so cute and I cannot wait to see it when I am in a bikini on holiday.

Love Minnie x 

heart tattoo




ps. I am aware that the picture isn’t great but I didn’t want to reveal too much. I will get someone to take a better photo for me in the next couple of weeks.

Current Favourites

I meant for this post to go live during the last week of August and as it was already half completed, I decided that I would post it anyway just not as an August favourites but as a current one.  August was the weirdest month for me so I don’t think I actually discovered much new stuff. I will also apologise for the lack of photos but you can see my post here which explains my mind-set at the moment.


Colgate Max White One Toothpaste

I am so fussy when it comes to toothpaste but I absolutely love this one.  There isn’t too much to say about it except that it foams in the mouth nicely (yes, that does sound weird) and my teeth feel so clean after using it. I am not sure on whether it actually does whiten your teeth but it is a good buy and only £4.00 although I am sure I got mine on offer. I think that this is a toothpaste which I will be purchasing again when this tube runs out.

Collection Invisible Powder

This makes my makeup look 100% times better. My skin looks matte and perfect when this is applied on top of foundation.  It is really light weight and you cannot actually tell that anything has been applied over makeup. I am really enjoying this at the moment and when I went away for the night at the weekend and forgot it, I felt so naked.  I wasn’t sure on this when I first ordered it but I am so glad that it is good.


Rose Water Toner

I bought this as it jumped out at me in Superdrug and I love it.  I use it every night just before I get into bed to ensure that my face is clean and I wake up with super soft skin.  I can’t imagine this not being part of my skin care routine now. It smells so good too.



I have always loved Sudocream but hadn’t had to use it for ages.  I did however, have a pretty bad breakout period at the beginning of August and this came in so handy.  I just covered the bad breakouts, woke up in the morning and my skin was almost clear (OK, maybe not, but not too bad).   I recommend always having a tub of this stuff handy.

Friction Free Razor 

I first saw this as one of those annoying adverts on Facebook tempting you to purchase stuff that you don’t really need but it did grab me.  So you pay £9.00 per month and they send you a razor and four blades each month.  The idea is that you can use each razor blade for a week and then simply swap it for a new one.  I am so lazy when it comes to shopping for razors so having this come straight to my door is super handy.  It also prevents your razors getting dirty as they are replaced.  You can cancel or pause the subscription at any time which is also good, in case you do forget to replace the blades each week and have to many.IMG_2827

13 Reasons Why

Ok, so I didn’t pick the best time in my life to watch one of the most depressing shows I have ever seen but I did enjoy it.  I won’t give too much away but it is worth a watch (not if you are in a really low place) but it does make you realise that the way you treat people can make such a difference to their life.  You never know what someone is going through so you shouldn’t judge them or be mean to them.

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte 

It has taken me a while to read this due to different factors but I finally finished it this week and I will do a whole book review soon, I promise.  I loved it… I feel that it was probably the best book I have ever read, the story was great and so well written.  It was my first Bronte and I have already ordered some more.  I always stock up on books so I need to get through the growing pile I have before reading the next one. I defiantly recommend this.

What are your current favourites?

Love, Minnie x 




[First Impressions] L’Oreal Paris Miss Baby Roll Mascara


It has been so long, I was loving blogging and then I went through some personal stuff which meant that I had to stop.  I have so many half-written posts that I will catch up on hopefully but I am now ready to fully get involved again.  At the weekend I purchase the L’Oreal Paris Miss Baby Roll Mascara, I have heard so many good reviews of it through people such as Soph Does Nails, I had to give it ago.

What it claims:

It’s time to say bye-bye to boring lashes and hello to new Miss Baby Roll Mascara, for mega volume, curl and all-day hold. Our mega curl roller brush curls lashes from the root, for an instant lash lift! The Quick Mega Volume formula volumises lashes and holds them in a curl all day.

It is only Monday but I wore it Saturday night when I went out with my family, Sunday for the whole day and I have it on this morning. It may be a bit early to see whether it reacts with my sensitive eyes but so far I have no issues.  The wand is different to what I’m use to but it is not hard to adjust accordingly.

I have noticed that it really does give instant lash lift and creates so much volume.  My lashes are naturally long anyway so I am always on the hunt for volume mascara and this is great.  It is also a great price at £7.99 in Boots. The packaging is also super cute and looks great in my makeup collection.


I am looking forward to trying this out more and writing a full review in due course.

Have you tried it yet?

Love, Minnie x

[Review]Garnier Micellar Extra-Gentle Cleansing Wipes

I stopped using wipes to take off my makeup a few years ago however, these jumped out at me when I was shopping in Superdrug recently.  I bought them on the idea that they would be used once in a while and occasionally if I am home late and feeling lazy but I have used them everyday so far almost everyday.  They have not replaced the usual Micellar Water routine for taking off my makeup but I use these before I shower in the evening to ensure that most of my makeup is removed, once I have showered I then use the Micellar Water and toner to ensure that my face is super clean before bed.

What they claim:

New Garnier Micellar Extra-Gentle Cleansing Wipes contain thin silk fibres in a thick, soft wipe.
Soaked with Micellar water, they are specially formulated for make-up removal on sensitive skin. Like a magnet, the cleansing agents capture impurities and lift away dirt from the skin. No need to rub to efficiently remove make-up.

The result: In a single step, your make-up is removed and your skin feels refreshed and soothed.

The first thing that I noticed and LOVED about these is the fact that they are really soaked in Micellar Water.  It is so obvious as soon as you open the packet.  The wipe is actually very thick too which means that it holds the water well and doesn’t break up in your hands.  You also get 25 wipes per pack and if you use daily then this is less than a months worth so can become expensive if you were to keep repurchasing.  The wipes are £3.29 from Superdrug but are currently on offer at £1.59.  They do leave your skin feeling super smooth and refreshed though.

It removes my makeup well but I wouldn’t say that it is the easiest method and I don’t wear that much makeup. It takes a good few scrubs with the wipes to get all the makeup off, especially eye makeup.  I also notice that when I use the Micellar Water after I shower it does still remove some of my makeup which is ok but it means that the wipes haven’t completely removed it all.

The packaging is very cute which may have been one of the reasons why I was drawn to it in the store however, I feel that because the product contains so much Micellar Water it actually needs to have a better seal.  I am very concerned that the product will dry up over time which means that if you don’t use it everyday then you may have to throw it away.

Have you tried these?

Love, Minnie x


My favourite everyday makeup

Hello my loves, today I will be sharing my everyday makeup favourites.

I am a Solicitor and therefore, work Monday to Friday in an office environment except for the occasional trip to court or days when I work from home.  I have to wear makeup and keep it professional however, I don’t like appear being too done up.  I also wake up at 5:45 each morning and I am usually at my desk before 8am so I feel that I have suddenly got into a very rehearsed routine in respect of my every day makeup.


I am currently loving the Maybelline Fit Me Matte & Poreless Foundation, which I have done a couple of posts on specifically.  I have started using a lot less of this as my skin as started to clear up and I feel that it applies much better lighter.  I then use the Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer under my eyes and on my problem areas i.e. my chin where I do have the last remaining parts of my recent breakout. I then set my face with the Collection Primed & Ready Invisible Setting Powder which I have to say is probably my favourite product at the moment.

Bronzer & Highlight

I switch between a couple but for Bronzer I am currently loving the Collection Bronze Glow as this gives such a variety of shades which can be built up depending on what you have planned and is great for a subtle look while at work. I am still using the Collection Highlight in the Collection #facetheday palette which is so perfect for days in the office.



I only wear mascara to work and as I have long dark lashes anyway I am pretty lucky in this respect.  I am loving the Maybelline Lash Sensational Lash Multiplying Mascara at the moment for work and it can be used as either one coat or two.  I can feel this starting to run out and although I plan on re-purchasing there are other drug store ones that I am also hoping to purchase and rotate into my routine in September/October.



I normally wear a Mac Lipstick to work and all my Mac Lipsticks are nude-ish shades which are perfect for every day.  My newest addition to the collect is Taupe which is a muted reddish-taupe brown which I feel can look too dark when applied heavily but is great when lightly applied and built up.  I think that this will be great for Autumn, which is fast approaching.

What are your favourite everyday makeup products?

Love, Minnie x